Human Lexi Starts Blogging

This is a blog post written and approved by Alexandra Grace Lampner, if that matters to you

Hey, Lovers,

Welcome to my blog. I’m writing from Day 33 of quarantine (shout out to Miami Beach #33, especially you, Ari). Based in Minneapolis, Minnesota, where somehow it’s still winter, I’ve found myself writing a lot, forgetting about the writing, and then opening my laptop to burning hot takes. Stories and thoughts are spilling out of my head like a poorly sealed bottle of ranch dressing (and jeez, the Midwest has rubbed off on me).

I’m tired of saying “during this time.” It takes us out of the present moment by positioning “this time” as somewhere other than right now. From my perspective, it’s important that we acknowledge quarantine by also staying in touch with aspects of the outside world that keep us grounded like the adorable parsnips we are.

Some mornings I wake up and say a prayer in gratitude that my soul has returned to my body after my sleep. Other mornings I’m like Kurtz in Heart of Darkness, thinking “The horror! The horror!” I’m sharing this because I imagine some of you are feeling the same, but in isolation it seems our minds play a sort of trick on us where we think we’re the first ones to ever experience a thought or feeling – and how archaic that is!

I talk to friends and family and coworkers, and people tell me “You’re really going through it,” etc. because yes, I am riding solo in this clusterfuck. And I can get caught up. What I want you to know is: we’re all going through it, and going through it differently, and feelings are relative, so even if you’re with roommates or family, remember you’re just going through the clusterfuck together.

Some topics I’ll be covering:

  • Life feels fully psychedelic now. Everything is an option
  • Screw Instagram, I need to stare at my wall for a few hours
  • My neighbor is feeding me elk (that he shot)
  • Who else feels threatened on an evolutionary level? Like, thirst traps are mating calls these days
  • People are genuinely GOOD
  • Sometimes an incoming FaceTime call feels like an alien invasion of digital space

Stay tuned and keep me accountable! Signing off this blog —

As a confirmation of my existence,

Lexi Lampner

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